TheOfficeisms for episode The Negotiation:Michael and Darryl head to Dunder Mifflin headquarters to lobby for a pay increase. Meanwhile, Jim must deal with the consequences of Pam's confession to Roy.Kelly: What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher? Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor. Ryan: Don't you see why that's insane?!? Jim: Hey, man, I never got a chance to thank you. (Dwight looks puzzled) Jim: ...for stopping Roy. Thank you. Dwight: Thank you not necessary, and thus not accepted. I saw someone breaking the law, and I interceded. Jim: OK... Got ya something. Dwight: Don't want it. Jim: You don't know what it is. Dwight: Don't want it, won't open it, don't need it, won't take it. Citizens do not accept prizes for being citizens. (Michael explains why he is wearing a woman's suit) Michael: You know at the sale it was very crowded and the suits were all in bins and I just grabbed one...and it fit...so at the very least this suit is bisexual. Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information. Michael: He has been wanting a raise for a couple of months, and he's just using this Roy thing as leverage. Jan: Well are you going to care of this? Michael: Yeppers. Jan: ... What did I tell you about 'yeppers'? Jan: No Michael, we need an HR rep, so, ah, I think you should just bring Toby. Michael: Hey, I'd rather kill myself. Michael: Negotiations are all about controlling things, about being in the drivers seat. And... make one tiny mistake, your dead. I made one tiny mistake. I wore womans clothes. Michael: Pam, will you please tell Darryl that this is not a womans suit. Pam: Oh my God, that's a womans suit. (later, in talking head format) Pam: It's been a really rough couple of days. This helps a little. Jan: Is Toby there? Michael: No. Toby: I'm here Jan. Pam: (confessional) I really don't want to talk about what happened. I don't mean to be mean or anything I just would rather not discuss it......... it sucked. Dwight: (In confessional) No. Don't call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go in their normal jobs and get a distress call from the commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes. Andy: I graduated from anger management the same way I graduated from Cornell--on time. Now, I'm back, got a second chance, and I'm not going to blow it. So, look out, Dunder Mifflin! I mean "look out" in a fun way, not like, "I'm going to hurt you." Jim: I guess all things considered I was lucky Dwight was there, and Roy was lucky Dwight just used the mace, not the nunchucks or the throwing stars. Michael: Negotiation is an art. Back and forth. Give and take. And today, both Darryl and I took something- higher salaries. Win, Win, Win. But you know, life is about more than just salary. It's about perks. Like having sex with Jan. Jan: MICHAEL! Michael: Why don't you just take that pen and stab me in the heart. This is me Jan! This is me! Jan: Ok. Michael please you know, why don't we just take a break? This is, this is really going nowhere. Michael: Ok, no no no no, you do not try tactic #8 on me. I invented tactic #8. I'm not going anywhere. Jan: Ok, Toby how about if you... Toby: Sure. Jan: Great. Dwight: (In confessional) Every day for eight years i have brought pepper spray to work, and everyday for eight years people have laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now? (Confessional, after macing Roy) Dwight: I am not a hero. I am a mere defender of the office. You know who's a real hero? Hiro, from Heroes. That's a hero... Also Bono. Roy: I'm so sorry, baby. I wasn't going to do anything with him. I kept thinking about you two together... I just thought you guys were really good friends, or maybe he was gay or something. (to the camera) Not that that's wrong. Hunter: Hey guys, Jan is ready for you. Darryl: OK, bring it home now. And don't forget the new Black Man Phrase I taught you. Michael: Bippity poppity, give me the zoppity. Darryl: Yes, sir! Remember that! I'll be right outside if you need me, alright? (Angela is eliciting the story of Dwight's bravery yet again) Creed: I remember it was very late at night, like 11, 11:30. Big fella comes in screaming about God-knows-what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter... Angela: You're useless. (Confessional) Michael: A boss's salary isn't just about money. It's about perks. It... for example, every year, I get a one hundred dollar gas card... Can't put a price tag on that. (Confessional) Karen: When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more. (Confessional) Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly, but if he did intend that... Wow. Genius. Michael: Come on, Toby. Let's go. Toby: Where? Michael: I'm going to hit you in the head with a hammer.. Come on! Toby: (glances over to where Ryan and Kelly are arguing) Ok. Creed: Here's the 40 dollars you gave me. Michael: I didn't give you 40 dollars. Creed: In a way, you did. Michael: No need for consternation, everything is under control. Jan: Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office! Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? 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