TheOfficeisms for episode Phyllis' Wedding:While the office gets ready for Phyllis' big day, an important task appointed to Michael goes embarrassingly wrong. Meanwhile Pam wonders what could have been with her called off wedding and Dwight searches for wedding crashers.(Michael is talking with Phyllis' Uncle outside the wedding reception) Michael: I should talk to her... I don't want this to ruin her honeymoon. Uncle Al: Nobody ever helped me. I had to do it myself. Even the doctor didn't know. Michael: Dude keep it together. I listened to you for half an hour even though most of that stuff went right over my head. (Michael is talking with Phyllis' Uncle outside the wedding reception) Michael: I just want Phyllis to have a great day. Uncle Al: Phyllis and you will be great together. Michael: We are great together. We are a great team. Uncle Al: The Celtics were a great team. Michael: Phyllis and Bob. Their celebrity couple name would be... Phlob Phyllis: Yes, I put Michael on my wedding. It was the only way I could think to get six weeks off for my honeymoon (smiles). No one else has ever gotten six weeks before. Jim: (to camera) In school, we learned about this scientist who trained dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell, by feeding them whenever a bell rang. So, in the past couple of weeks, I've been conducting a similar experiment (Sound of Jim's computer rebooting) Jim: Dwight, want an Altoid? Kevin: No, this is not our first wedding. This is the third wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding and our guitarist's wedding. Michael: Congratulations, Bob. You're a good man. But just know, if you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I will kill you. Bob Vance: If you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I'll kill you. Michael: Agreed. No fingers will be laid on Phyllis. Angela: Congratulations, Phyllis. You look lovely. Your dress is very white. So white my eyes are burning. Phyllis: Thanks, Angela. Michael: Me walking Phyllis down the aisle was supposed to be the highlight of the wedding. And now, the wedding has no highlight. Dwight: I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. That’s the thing about bear attacks. They come when you least expect it. Dwight: Why are all these people here? There's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague. Who are all these people? Michael: There she is! I swear, Phyllis, you are as beautiful as the first day you started work at Dunder Mifflin. Phyllis: Thanks, Michael, that’s sweet. Same as when you said it outside. Dwight: The Schrutes have their own traditions. We usually marry standing in our own graves. Makes the funerals very romantic. But the weddings are a bleak affair. Dwight: Hello, Angela. Angela: Hi, Dwight. Dwight: You look as beautiful as the Queen of England. Angela: Thank you. Don’t linger. Break left. (Dwight breaks right) Angela: Left! Pam: Phyllis ended up using the exact same invitations as Roy and me. So it was kind of like being invited to my own wedding. And I was like, wait, I thought I called that off. Michael: Phyllis is getting married, and I am in the wedding party. She's asked me to push her father's wheelchair down the aisle. So basically, I am co-giving away the bride. Since I pay her salary, it is like I am paying for the wedding. Which I'm happy to do. It's a big day for Phyllis. But it's an even bigger day for me. Employer of the Bride. Michael: Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well you know something? I think you guys are two metals. Gold metals. Jim: So, what's in the box? Stanley: A toaster, you? Karen: Uh, a toaster. Stanley: Unbelievable. Kevin: Hi, I’m Kevin. (shakes the hand of Toby’s date) Where’d you find her? Toby: At the gym. Kevin: Right. The gym. (laughing) Michael: You might be surprised to learn that I've only been to one other wedding. It's actually a very cute story. My mom was marrying Jeff and they asked me to be ring bearer and I was understandably emotional and somehow my pants became wet. Young Michael: (on video crying) I hate you! (young Michael throws the ring) Michael: Long story short -- Jeff's dog ended up as ring bearer and the irony is that after the ceremony, that dog peed on everything, and nobody said boo. Michael: I can't believe I pushed that---that guy's lazy ass around all day, until he was ready to stand up and steal the show. That's-well, I got news for you Elbert, if that's your real name, the show is not over. Kelly: Are you all right? This must be so awful for you. Pam: What do you mean? Kelly: Well, this was supposed to be your wedding Pam: Oh, um, no, that’s, um…it’s actually fine. Kelly: There’s no way it’s fine. I’m sorry. If I was you I would just like freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant. Pam: Ok, that’s a lot of good ideas, thanks. Jim: Hey! Pam: Hey. Jim: When are we gonna get to see some of those famous Beesly dance moves? Pam: (chuckles) I’m pacing myself. Jim: Come on. Get out there; give the people what they want. Pam: No, I’m such a dorky dancer. Jim: I know and it’s very cute. (wedding confessional) Michael: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash, you’re lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that’s crazy. I say “Let them eat cake”. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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