TheOfficeisms for episode The Return:Oscar returns from his vacation and ponders his future with the company, while Andy takes advantage of the current state of the office to make a move towards becoming Michael's number two.Angela: Oscar? I have a question. Would you like to join the party planning committee? Oscar: The committee with all the women? Angela: Yeah. Oscar: Because I'm gay? Angela: No. No. (Kevin laughs) Certain events have transpired. And I've thought about certain things. And I'm sorry for the way those certain events transpired. (starts to cry) And I would just like to make some changes about certain things and certain situations. Oscar: OK, OK, OK, all right, all right. I'll join. I'd love to. That's -- thank you. Angela: Thank you. Kevin: Can I join too? Angela: Never. Oscar: Hey, where's Dwight? Creed: You didn't hear? Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird. Jim: I'm pretty sure none of that's real. Creed: You're not real, man! (After Michael and Dwight arrive to the office party) Michael: Not bad, huh? Dwight: You did this for me? ("Welcome back, Oscar" can be read behind them) Michael: Guilty. Andy: You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell/Hofstra, slaughter. Then quick nap at my place, and we hit the tis-own. Michael: No, I don't want to do any of that. Andy: Duh, which is why I was joking about doing it. Michael: Would you stop, stop, just stop doing it. You're going to drive me crazy Andy: Fine, I'll just go sit at my desk and be quiet. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. (Andy's cellphone begins playing) Oscar: Why don’t you have me riding in on a donkey, into the office, like Pepe? Michael: Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let’s get him one. Phyllis: Dwight had a big personality and I have a big personality, and a lot of times, when two people like that get together, it can be explosive. Michael: So maybe you should come back. You should come back. Please. Dwight: I don’t want to do your laundry anymore. Michael: We can talk about that. Jim: Hey, Ryan. Ryan: What? Jim: Do you want to pull a prank on Andy? Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again ten years ago. Jim: I liked you better as the temp. Ryan: Me too. Dwight: For your convenience, I’ve broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume and Dwight Schrute trivia. Dwight: How would I describe myself? Three words: Hardworking, Alpha Male, Jackhammer, Merciless, Insatiable. Oscar: Hey, everyone. Kevin: Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your Gay-cation? Oscar: That’s very funny. Kevin: Yeah? I thought of that like 2 seconds after you left. Andy: Feel ya, dawg. Michael: Yeah, do ya? Andy: Absolutely. Michael: What did I say? Andy: You said…Ruh-duht, duh duh-dooh Michael: Huh? Andy: Which is like “right on”. Pam was like “blah, blah, blah” You were like “Yeah, Psh-sht.” Nailed it… (Andy smiles oddly at Michael) Michael: Oh. Oh, no. (puts his head down and walks away from Andy) Michael: Love that Andy right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough, likes me a lot. A lot, too much, like a crazy person, a little. Not super crazy, just... there's something about him that creeps me out, I can't really explain it. He's always up in my bidness, which is Ebonics for "being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me". I don't understand how someone can have so little self-awareness. Michael: Have any of you talked to Dwight? Stanley: Oh, sure, we talk all the time. Michael: Really? Stanley: No (Stanley smiles) Michael: Don’t do that. That’s not nice. (turns to Phyllis) What about you, Phyllis? You and Dwight were close? Phyllis: No, sorry. (Karen sits next to Jim) Jim: Hey. Karen: (sighs) Do you still have feelings for her? Jim: (long pause)Yes. (Karen gets up and walks away) (Michael in confessional) Michael: It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that’s what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I’m going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. (smiles at the camera) Hmm. Co-worker: (referring to Dwight) I don't like him, his giant head, or his beady little eyes. That's all I got to say on the matter. Jim: Maybe it's in the ceiling? Andy: You know what, maybe YOU'RE in the ceiling! Michael(to Oscar): Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexicanness is what defines you to me. (to Group) And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis, I want you to go find some firecrackers and a chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga. Jim: I miss Dwight. Congratulations universe, you win. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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