TheOfficeisms for episode Back From Vacation:A refreshed and rejuvenated Michael returns from his Jamaican vacation with an interesting photograph which circulates around the office. Meanwhile an awkward moment arises when Pam is caught in the middle of an argument between Jim and Karen.Michael: (to Stanley) You are not as much fun as your Jamaican bra-das, mon. Pam: No I didn't mind helping Jim with his problem. That's what friends do. I help Phylis all the time. Just yesterday I untangled a piece of tape from her hair. Pam: (extended crying) Dwight: So, you're PMS-ing pretty bad, huh? Michael: Okay, wait a second. I sent it to you at packer(at)dundermifflin(dot)com... packaging(at)dundermifflin(dot)com... uh-oh. Todd: (on the phone) Wait, I just got it from somebody else. Wow! This is hot, damn!... How do I get you out of this picture? Jan: I still find myself wanting to... be with you Michael: And I... to you, in addition... feel... the same feelings that you are... as well (silence) Jan: Oh God. Jim: Oh, my God. Dwight, what are you doing? Dwight: What? Jim: You're not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office. Dwight: I'm not ... Jim: Dwight, you know what? Just back off. Okay, that's making me uncomfortable. This is sexual harassment, by the way. (Dwight looks at the tape recorder) Jim: Oh, my God. He's got a knife! Dwight: (Speaking into the recorder) I do not have a knife! Jim: No, let the record show that Dwight K. Shrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck. Dwight: (Shouts into the recorder) Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar! Jim: (Grabs the recorder and speaks into it) Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby's bonnet. Dwight: (Snatches the recorder back) I am not! Phyllis: Oh, Jim Carrey just walked in, Dwight. Get his autograph for Michael, quickly. Dwight: Jim Carrey did not just walk in, okay? Karen: Dwight, what is that on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo? (Dwight glances down) Jim: Oh my God, Karen, you're right. That is Animal from the Muppet Babies. Dwight: You can't see my stomach— Andy: I am now chopping off Phyllis's head with a chainsaw! (Dead silence) Andy: (Imitates a chainsaw) Vring-ing-ing-inging. (Clears throat) Michael: The Jamaicans don’t have a word for “impossible”. Jim: Yep, it’s English, it’s impossible. Michael: Jan told me to play it cool and not tell anybody because it could get us both in trouble. So, officially I did not see her. But I did see Jan there…in our room…at night…and in the morning, and that’s all I’m going to say. Except...sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan. Michael: Um, well, did you get the second e-mail that I sent, explaining that the first e-mail was a mistake and that you should delete it. Darryl: Yup Michael: And you sent that out to everyone? Darryl: Mike, I’m very busy down here. (bites on a piece of chicken) Michael: I have a special assignment for you. Dwight: Who’s the target? Michael: A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture. The file name is “Jamaica Jan Sun Princess” Dwight: What’s it of? Michael: Not important. Dwight: Unless you are willing to tell me everything, I can not accept this assignment. Michael: Okay, forget it. Dwight: Ok, I accept it. Toby: Hey, I need to talk to you. Michael: Not now, not ever. Toby: About you and Jan Michael: Ah, none of your business. Michael: Hello, hi, attention everyone, um, apparently there is an e-mail circulating around that contains a very PG-13 rated picture of me and a woman Kevin: Jan. Michael: No Kevin, a woman, maybe Jan, maybe-- Jim: Urkel Grue. Michael: My point is that if you get it, I would ask that you just delete it, sight unseen. Let’s be professional, all right? Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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