TheOfficeisms for episode Initiation:It's initiation time for the full timer Ryan as Dwight takes him out on his first sales call with a side trip to the Schrute family beet farm. Michael is ordered by corporate to log his work activity; and Jim tries to adapt to life at the Stamford branch.Dwight: Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today, in which case I won't hang out with Mose so much any more. (Karen squeaks her chair) Karen: Hey. Jim: What? Karen: My chair's squeaking. Jim: Is it? Karen: You took my chair. Jim: No. I didn't. I took back the chair that you took from me. I didn't take your chair. Karen: When you get up I'm just gonna take it back anyway, so... Jim: So I guess I can't get up. (Jim rolls over to the photocopier on his chair) Stanley: 364 more days until the next pretzel day. Dwight: What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin? Ryan: Outsourcing and consolidation of competition. Dwight: Wrong! Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin's suidide? Ryan: Depression? Dwight: Wrong. He hated himself. What is the Dharma Initiative? Michael: Hey, hey, hey! Phyllis! What are you doing? Phyllis: I'm just saying hi to Bob. Michael: No, I think you're cutting in line. Bob: Well, settle down, Scott. Michael: No, I'm not going to settle down. Stanley: Uh-uh. No way. Uh-uh. Michael: Get in the back, please. (Michael and Stanley start booing. Phyllis heads to the back of the line) Michael: Thank you. (Stanley gives Michael a high-five) Michael: That's right. Stanley: Mm-hmm. Bob: What a pair of Mary's. Stanley: This is pretzel day. Pam: I thought you might want to use this time to authorize some checks. Michael: I thought that maybe you could wait in line for me while I go to the bathroom? You're an angel. Pam: Hey, why don't you just go up to your office, get some work done, and I'll bring you a pretzel? Michael: Because I like them a certain way, and it it gets screwed up then this whole thing's blown. Pam: You know, I just think it's really important that you be productive today. Ryan: So, where's the sales office? Dwight: When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you. Your journey begins now. Michael: [on sugar high] Phyllis, Stanley, I want you to switch desks. I am going to reorganize and restructure the physical layout of the office to maximize everything. I think we'll get a lot done. Don't you? On paper, at least, and we are, after all, a paper company. Are we not? Are we not? Are we not? Are you with me? Are you with me? Thank you very much. Kelly: I can’t believe that Ryan is not back yet? Where could they be? Angela: Sales take a long time. Kelly: Oh my God, I’m so worried. Angela: I’m sure Dwight will protect him. Kelly: I don’t know. Dwight’s so weird. Angela: He’s not weird. He’s just individualistic. Kelly: No, he’s a freak. Angela: You’re a freak! (walks out of the room) Dwight: And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you. Ryan: I don’t think you know what you’re saying. Dwight: Smells pretty bad doesn’t it? Ryan: Uh-huh. Dwight: It’s called bullcrap and a client can smell it a mile away. Ryan: Gotcha Dwight: Oh, hey—I forgot something in my car. I’ll be right back. (Dwight runs to his car) Ryan: Okay (Dwight starts up his car and drives away) Of course. Michael: Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss. I'm so lucky Jan and I only got to second base. Dwight: Brain teaser. I have two coins totaling fifteen cents; one of them is not a nickel. What are they? Ryan: A dime and a nickel. Dwight: No, I said on of them is not a nickel Ryan: But the other one is, I've heard that before. Dwight: Ok, a man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The doctor says, there's no way I can operate on this boy Ryan: Because he's my son. The doctor is the boy's mother. Dwight: A man is found hanging from the ceiling Ryan: He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself and the ice melted. Dwight: A hunter-- Ryan: It's a polar bear because you're at the North Pole. Dwight: Damn it!! Pam: It's weird, Jan used to treat Michael like a ten year old but lately it's like he's five. Stanley: I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small. Drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive. And then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day……Well, I like pretzel day. Dwight: I am very excited. Ryan hasn't made a sale yet, but more importantly he hasn't made an ally yet. Is he gonna to be a slacker-loser-wise-ass like Jim was? Or is he gonna join the Dwight Army of Champions? Jan: Tell me what you did yesterday Michael: Uh…nothing. Jan: Nothing? Michael: Yeah, nothing. How was your day? Jan: I don’t care how your day was, Michael. Michael: (sighs) Wow, Well, okay. I don’t care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why would you set me up like…. Jan: Tell me what you did yesterday Michael: I worked and then I went home to my condo, and Carol came over and we had sex. Is that what you want to hear? Dwight: Michael says KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid! Hurts my feelings every time. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
Total Isms in the database:
1187 |
|
|
|