TheOfficeisms for episode Take Your Daughter to Work Day:A routine office day is changed when children come to Dunder Mifflin for "Take Your Daughter to Work Day." Michael is surprised when he strikes up a friendship with the five-year old daughter of his sworn enemy, Toby. Pam is desperate to befriend her colleagues' offspring and a misunderstanding puts Ryan under Stanley's thumb.Michael: It's not that children make me uncomfortable, it's just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I've never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle. (Dwight is reading to daughters from his grandmother's book.) Micheal: The kids don't want to hear some weirdo book that your Nazi-war-criminal grandmother gave you. Michael: You need someone in the middle to facilitate... Jake: You're just a middleman. Michael: I'm not just a middleman. Melissa: Wait, why doesn't the manufacturer just sell the paper directly to people? Michael: You are describing Office Depot. And they are kind of running us out of business. Dwight: We have better service than they do! Michael: Pam...Miss Beesly if your nasty. Janet Jackson. Hey, you having a wardrobe malfunction or something - Pam: You can't be nasty today. Kevin: Go ahead. Abby: Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? Jim: Oh man, I would love to, I can't tonight, but can I come over some other time? Kevin: What are you doing? You never have plans. Jim: Thanks Kev. Uh, I'm actually going on a date. Kevin: Nice. Edward R. Meow: What’s your favorite subject in school? Young Michael: Recess Edward R. Meow: Recess! So, tell me … what do you want to be when you grow up? Young Michael: I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends and no one can say no to being my friend. (Silence.) Edward R. Meow: Well, uh, well, uh, okay. Nice talking with you Michael. Back to you, Miss Trudy! Michael: I could have sworn it was… Fiddling with television set Melissa: Did you get married? Michael: Uh, no. Abby: Why not? Michael: Uh, it just never happened. Sasha: So, do you have any kids? Michael: Nope. Jakey: Do you have a girlfriend? Michael: I do OK. Melissa: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then? Michael: Yes. Jakey: Even I have a girlfriend… Sasha: So you didn’t get to be what you wanted to be? Michael: I guess not … You know, I have a load of work to do, so I’m going to grab a slice of this delish pizza and I’m gonna go do my work. Bye. Michael: I don’t get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives. They’re adults for God’s sake. Michael: There’s Creed. Let’s take a look at what he’s doing everything. This is Creed. And he is in charge of … something, right? Creed: That is correct. Michael: Say hello to the kids. Creed: Hi kids! Michael: Yay… Creed: Have you ever seen a foot with four toes? (Starts to take shoe off…) Kids: Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwww! Michael: What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it! No, no, no! Would you cut it out? Creed: The hair covers the… Michael: We’re not going to see the four-toed Creed, OK? Jake: Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something. Dwight: Okay, but first, that is not my name! Jake: You're ugly. (giggles) Dwight: Well at least I'm not a horrible little latch-key kid who got suspended from school. Jake: Meredith! Dwight: Nah nah! Michael: The kids don't want to hear some weirdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandmother gave you. Sasha: What's a Nazi? Michael: What's a Nazi?! Dwight: Nazism was a fascist movement in the 1930s in Germany... Michael: Don't , don't, don't talk about Nazis in front of them! You know, they're going to have nightmares. Why don't you just shut it?! Sasha: (to Phyllis) Are you Mother Goose? Jim: Ow, ow, ow, ow. Broke my hand. Dwight: There’s no way that hurt. Jim: Really, cause she’s pretty strong. Dwight: Little girl, come over here. Shake my hand. C’mon, I don’t have all day. I don’t feel anything, nothing. (Turns to Jim) You are so weak. Toby: OK, tell them what you wanted to say. Sasha: Do you need any help? Angela: No … thanks. We’d have to explain everything. It’s probably just easier if we do it ourselves. Toby: All right, I wasn’t expecting that. Let’s … let’s go draw. Kelly: Oh my god, she is so cute, I wanna die. Don’t you just love kids, Angela? Angela: I guess I wouldn’t mind a pair of small well-behaved boys. Michael: Listen I like kids, but this is not a kids’ environment. This is like HBO. No limits. Who knows what I’m going to say. Crazy stuff. This is R-rated. It is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in “Raw” and they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in “Daddy Day Care.” Both great movies, but still. Pam: I am not great with kids but I want to get better because I am getting married. So I put out extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in Hansel & Gretel. Michael: I need a user name... and I have a great one. (types his username into the computer) "LittleKidLover". That way, people will know exactly where my priorities are at. Michael: Hi children. I'm Michael Scott, and I am in charge of this place. Uhh...how do I make you understand... I am like Superman, and the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City. Jim and Dwight: That's Batman. Michael: Ok, I'm Aquaman. Where does he live guys? Jim: The ocean. Michael: I work with a bunch of nerds. Stanley: That little girl is a child. I don't wanna see you sniffin' around her anymore this afternoon! Do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind? 'Cause I'll help you find it. Whatcha lookin’ for? Ain’t nobody gonna help ya out there. Jesus can come through that door and he’s not gonna help you if you don’t stop sniffin’ after my child! (Cut to Ryan outside) Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. Ryan: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and I'm learning that "fun" for Kelly is getting married and having babies... Immediately.... With me. Kevin: Abby's my fiancée Stacey's daughter. I think she'll have a good time. I just hope she doesn't look in my computer...actually, I'd better go check. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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