TheOfficeisms for episode The Carpet:When someone soils the carpet in Michael's office, Michael sees it as a form of hatred towards him and realizes for the first time that not everyone may like him. Due to the odor of his office, Michael temporarily switches workspaces with Jim, and while there, Michael reminisces of his pre-management days, reliving pranks with Dwight that he and Todd Packer played on the staff. Meanwhile, Jim realizes why Kelly sits alone in the back of the office as he plays messenger for a childish flirtation between Kelly and Ryan, and Pam tries to cope with the day without Jim to make her laugh.Pam: (A voicemail message to Jim) Hey, Jim! It's Pam. I keep looking up to say something to you and then Michael's there, and it's horrible. Anyway, I'm bored. (desperately) Come back! Michael: I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away. Michael: It was like, "Ed Truck is coming. Quit having fun and pretend to work." Michael: If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment, then this would all be over. Ok then, you're all punished. Pam: What's our punishment? Michael: You're all on a time out. Jim: What do you think of Kelly? Ryan: I don't know. Depends if you like a little junk in the... (notices camera) umm... She's really cool. Pam: Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet. Maybe that's all we need to know. Todd Packer: (on the phone) I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.. Michael: How did you get this number? Todd Packer: From your mom, you gay nerd! Michael: Do you know Ed Truck? Creed: Ed Truck? Yeah, he hired me. Michael: My biggest fear is turning into him. Creed: You should have much bigger fears than that, Michael. Michael: I know, I wasn't talking literally. Being buried alive would be worse. Happy? Michael: Last week I would have given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would have reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "No. I only give my organs to my real friends - go get yourself a monkey kidney." Michael: I am the victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about. Stanley: That is not what a hate crime is. Michael: Well I hated it. Pam: (A voicemail message for Jim) Hey, what's that word we made up when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? Oh well, I have a thing stuck in my shoe. Pam: (A voicemail message for Jim) Sudoku. Moderate. 18 minutes. Suck on that, Halpert! Michael: Maybe somebody hates the Cleaning Lady - she doesn't do a very good job: my office still reeks. I hate her. Michael: Extreme Home Makeover put together a house in an hour. If you were on that crew, you would be fired like that. Michael: I'm beginning to think that what happened to the carpet was an act of terrorism. Against the office. It's the only thing that makes any sense. Michael: Once, as a joke, Packer banged every girl in the office. It was priceless. Kelly: Toby used to sit there, but he had to move because of an allergy. Jim: Allergic to the desk? Michael: (While in his reeking office) I am a big Fear Factor fan. I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually, so this is sort of like my audition tape. (immediately gets up and leaves) I can't stand it, I can't stay in here another second. Michael: Somebody vomited right in the middle of my office carpet. Kevin: (Taking a look) I don't think that's vomit... Pam: I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off from taking them as long as possible, and this year I got to the third week in January. Michael: (To Pam) Spamster! Pam: Pam plus Spam plus...? Michael: Hamster. Pam: Right. Ryan: Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way that Michael looks at me. Dwight: Michael's gonna sweep the floor with us! Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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