TheOfficeisms for episode Christmas Party:Michael hosts a Christmas party at the office, but somehow manages to decrease the holiday cheer when he changes the arranged secret Santa pairs to a game of "Yankee Swap," where everyone gives their pre-bought presents to a different, random worker. To boost morale, Michael introduces vodka shots while the others compete for an iPod, Jim hopes that his sentimental present, meant for Pam, doesn't end up with Dwight, and Angela becomes enraged about Michael's party changes.Ryan: Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive. Phyllis: Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Bob. Kevin: Kevin Malone. Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Stanley: Stanley Hudson. Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Ryan: Ryan Howard. Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Ryan: So, what line of work you in, Bob? (Kelly kisses Dwight) Dwight: What are you doing?! Kelly: I don't know. Dwight: You shouldn't do things like that. A man is supposed to do that. Roy: (About the video iPod) I was gonna get you one of these for Christmas. Now I don't have to. It'll save a bunch of money. Pam: What are you going to get me instead? Roy: I don't know...a sweater? Dwight: "A real man makes his own luck." Billy Zane, Titanic. Michael: (About his oven mitt) So Phyllis is basically saying, "hey, Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth." Kelly: (About the baby poster meant for Angela) That's, like, the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Jim: (about Yankee Swap) I thought that it was called "Nasty Christmas." Pam: We call it "White Elephant." Michael: Well, I call it fun. Ryan: (About the iPod) Isn't there a 20 dollar limit? This is 400 bucks. Michael: You don't know that. Ryan: Yeah, you left the price tag on. Michael: I want people to cut loose. I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceiling, lampshades on their heads. I want this to be a Playboy mansion party. Michael: Merry Christmas! (pointing to three of the women, and then Ryan) Ho! Ho! Ho! Pimp! Michael: Stupid corporate! Wet blankets... it's not like booze ever killed anyone. Angela: (About the change from Secret Santa to Yankee Swap) Michael should have asked the party planning committee first. He shouldn’t just spring things on us like this. (After a pause, she starts to cry) Michael: Christmas is awesome. First of all you got to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no-one can say anything. Third you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time. Kevin: I want the footbath. (In a voiceover) That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. (Thinking) Maybe I should've taken the iPod...(pausing) Oh, shoot! Kevin: What are we going to do with this hacked off part? Michael: Well, that is a perfectly good mini tree, Kevin. And we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about. Store clerk: It comes to $166.41 Michael: Alright, you’re the expert…tell me, is this enough to get 20 people plastered? Store clerk: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it. Dwight: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets...Christmas. Michael: Happy birthday, Jesus — sorry your party's so lame. Kevin: (About the Christmas tree) Why'd you get it so big? Michael: Well, A) that's what she said, and B) I wanted it to be impressive. Biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year. Kevin: But what are we going to do with this hacked off part? Michael: Well, that is a perfectly good mini tree Kevin, and we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about. Dwight: I got a splinter. Michael: Well, suck it up. We all have problems. Kevin: I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't. (smiles) Toby: I got Angela. She's into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. It felt kinda weird buying that. Michael: It was a tough year. I had to fire somebody this year. Yeesh. This party has to really rock. Check it out - Christmas bonus: 3000 Gs. I got this for helping save the company money. So I guess some good came out of firing Devon after all. Maybe I should call him, tell him that. Meredith: The deal is that this is my last hurrah 'cause I made a New Year's resolution that I'm not going to drink anymore...during the week. Michael: Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but basically you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm. Michael: Presents are the best way to show someone you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, "Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth." Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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