TheOfficeisms for episode The Fight:

When Dwight embarrasses Michael by punching him in the stomach at work, Jim organizes a lunchtime rematch at Dwight’s Dojo. Meanwhile, Pam becomes annoyed at Jim when he gets too physical with her, Ryan updates the emergency contact information on a “secret mission,” and Michael teases Ryan when the boss gets a hold of Ryan’s cell phone number.



Michael: Pam, I hate to break this to you, but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.
Pam: He's a purple belt, that's really high.
Michael: Oh God, I could beat up Dwight, that's ridiculous. I can murder him.

Kelly: (practicing karate with Dwight) HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: What!?

Dwight: (showing his purple belt) This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.
Michael: Well, that would be kinda worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who can kick his ass.
Jim: You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?
Dwight: What belt are they?

Ryan's Voicemail: Seven new messages. First new message:
Michael: Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.
Ryan's Voicemail: Next message:
Michael: Hey, Ryan, this is your girlfriend and I'm mad.

Dwight: I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew…World War II veteran. My father battled blood pressure and obesity. Different kind of fight.

Michael: Go ahead, punch me.
Jim: (Joking) Can’t. Just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, Queer!...Eye. Queer Eye. That’s a good show, important show.

Michael: (Prank-calling Ryan, imitating Michael Jackson) Hey Ryan, this is Michael Jackson, calling from Wonderland.
Ryan: You mean Neverland?

Jim: Sounds tough. (Snapping fingers) But when you’re a jet, you’re a jet all the way.

Michael: (To Pam) Shelax! Stop Pam-M-S-ing.
Pam: (About the day where Michael has to sign many papers) I call it the Perfect Storm.

Pam: Michael tends to procrastinate whenever he has to do work.

Michael: (Singing) I don’t wanna work, I just wanna bang on this mug all day!

Michael: (About the paperwork) Okay, so let's gangbang this and go home!

Michael: My emergency contact is Todd Packer. Todd F. Packer. Know what the "F" stands for?
Ryan: Fudge?
Michael: Yeah...

Dwight: I am now Senpai, which is Assistant Sensei.
Jim: Assistant to the Sensei. That's pretty cool.
Dwight: Assistant Sensei.

Dwight: I need to change my emergency contact information from Michael Scott.
Ryan: Ok, to what?
Dwight: Just put...The...Hospital. Contact number...just put 911.
Michael: He is such a sore loser.

Michael: I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I can murder him.

(Dwight enters Michael's office)
Michael: Oh hey, Karate Kid...the Hilary Swank version. Hi. How are you?

Michael: Look. Dwight is a wuss. When we rented Armageddon, he cried at the end of it.
Dwight: Michael, I told you. That was because it was New Year's Eve, and it started to snow at exactly midnight.

Michael: I've beat up black belts.
Jim: How'd you know they were black belts?
Michael: They told me. After.

Michael: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Oscar: Michael, can't your conversation wait until Monday?
Toby: We want to go home...
Michael: Yeah, well you don't even have anyone to go home to, Toby.



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