TheOfficeisms for episode Sexual Harassment:Michael is forced to abide by the companies new sexual harassment policies all the while trying to entertain his vulgar "BFF" Todd Packer.Todd Packer: Oh my. They really got to you, didn't they? Michael: They didn't get to me. I got to them. Michael: I am still the same old Michael Scott. New and improved. You know what? I love Phyllis. You know what else? I think she is gorgeous. (Kneels down next to Phyllis and puts his arms around her) I think she is an incredibly, incredibly attractive person. Come here, give me a kiss. (Phyllis starts laughing) Michael: Come on. (pecks Phyllis on the cheek) Oh! Phyllis: Michael, you don't have to worry, I'm not going to any, to HR. Michael: I'm not worried. You know what? The only thing I am worried about...is getting a boner. Dwight: What does the female vagina look like? Toby: Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. Um, I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly. Michael: What if Pam was a lesbian? What if she brought her partner into work, would that be crossing the line? Toby: No! Michael: What if they made out, in front of everybody... Toby: Well, that would be... Michael: ...at home? And I told everybody everything about it? Toby: OK, I'm lost. Michael: OK, then, well let's act it out. Pam, you will be girl A. And, girl B will be... OK, we'll use the doll. Pam? Pam? Michael: And, even though we're still a family here at Dunder-Mifflin, families grow. And, at some point, the daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management, and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam, as much as I might want to. Todd Packer: Where's Michael Snot? Sniffing some dude's thong? Probably. Michael: Todd Packer and I are total BFFs, Best Friends Forever. We came up together in sales. One time we went to a bar and met this set of twins. And Packer said that we were brothers. One thing lead to another, and we took them to our hotel room... And Packer did BOTH of them! It was awesome! Michael: In the future, when I want to say something funny or witty or do an impression, I will no longer ever do any of those things. Jim: Does that include "that's what she said"? Michael: Uh, yes. Jim: Wow, that's really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling. Michael: That's what she said! Jim : Hey, what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This Guy! Michael: Toby is in HR. Which, technically, means he works for corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also he's divorced. So he's really not a part of his family. Michael: When I said before that I was king of forwards, you gotta understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who's just delivering drugs from one guy to another. (Ryan sees Todd Packer's "WLHUNG" license plate) Ryan: You a big William Hung fan? Todd: Why does everybody ask me that? Who the hell is that? Michael: I am king of forwards. It's how I like to do business. Everybody joking around. We're like Friends. I am Chandler and Joey. And Pam is Rachel. And Dwight is Kramer. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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