TheOfficeisms for episode The Dundies:After the annual staff Dundies awards is redlined by corporate, Michael is uncertain if he can produce the calibre of evening his staff have come to expect. Pam meanwhile develops second thoughts about her engagement to Roy while watching video footage of old Dundies award nights. Dwight hears a rumor of malicious graffiti in the female toilets and schemes to find out more. The entire office meets at Chili's for the Dundies awards show, and together experience a night they will never forget.Michael :This next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesly. I think we all know what award Pam is gonna be getting this year... it is the Whitest Sneakers Award, because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on! Get on down here! Pam Beesly, ladies and gentlemen! Pam: (very drunk) I have so many people to thank for this award! Okay, first off, my Keds, because I couldn't have done it without them. Let's give Michael a round of applause for MC-ing tonight, because this is a lot harder than it looks. (applause) Pam: And also because of Dwight too. (silence) Pam: Um, so. Finally, I wanna thank God, because God gave me this Dundie. And I feel God in this Chili's tonight. (pauses) Pam: WOO! Chili's Manager: We have a strict policy here not to overserve. Apparently this young woman was sneaking drinks off other people's tables. I xeroxed her driver's license, and she is not welcome at this restaurant chain ever again. (gives a look as if to say 'so there') (Leaving Chili's drunk) Pam: (shouting into camera) Oh my god! I just want to say that this this was the best Dundies ever! WOO! Michael: And the Tightass Award goes to Angela. Not only because she is everybody's favorite stickler, but because she has a great caboose. So come on down. Angela: No. Dwight: So, what's the joke? You're not perfect either. Pam: We're not laughing at you, Dwight. Dwight: So who are we laughing at? Pam: Um, just something somebody wrote. Dwight: Who, Dave Barry? Kelly: (laughs) No, uh, just something that was written on the ladies' room wall. Dwight: What is it? Who wrote it? Pam: Um, it's kinda private. Phyllis: (whispers) It's about Michael. Dwight: That is defacement of company property, so you'd better tell me. Kelly, if you tell me, you'll be punished less. Pam: (laughing) Okay, now I'm laughing at you. Michael: Was this year’s Dundies a success? Well, let’s see, I made Pam laugh so hard, that she fell out of her chair, and she almost broke her neck. So I killed, almost. Toby: Uh, yes that's true. I have never won a Dundie. I am more than okay with that. Michael: T.M.I. Too Much Information. Uh, it's just easier to say T.M.I. I used to say Don't Go There but that's lame. Michael: If you want a tour of past Dundie winners, we got Fat Jim Halpert here, Jim why don't you show off your Dundies to the camera? Jim: Oh I can't because I keep them hidden. I don't want to look at them and get cockey. Michael: Oh, that's a good idea. Dwight: Mine are at home, in a display case above my bed. Michael: (Makes disgusted sound) T.M.I. T.M.I. my friends! Michael: An employee will go home and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?". And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean I slave all day, nobody notices me." Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself... due to lack of recognition. Michael: This next award goes to someone who really lights up the office, somebody who I think a lot of us cannot keep from checking out. The Hottest in the Office Award goes to Ryan the Temp! YEAH! Hey HO! You sexy thing! Sexy thing you! Whoo! (slaps Ryan's butt) Ryan: What am I going to do with the award? Nothing. I don't know what I'm going to do. That's the least of my concerns right now. Michael: I was out on a very, very hot date, last night, with a girl from HR, Dwight. Dwight: Really? We don't have any girls from HR. Michael: No, that... for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy... Dwight: Yeah! Michael: And I was about to take her bra off... Dwight: Yeah! Michael: when she had me fill out six hours worth of paperwork. Dwight: Like an AIDS test? Michael: No... God. Jan: You already had a party on May 5th for no reason. Michael: No reason? It was the 05/05/05 party! It only happens once every billion years! Jan: And you had a luau and the tsunami relief fundraiser that somehow lost a lot of money. Michael: Okay, no, that was a FUN-raiser. I think I made that very clear on the flyer. F-U-N. Jan: I don’t understand why anyone would have a tsunami FUN-raiser, Michael. I mean, that just doesn’t make sense. Michael: Well, I think a lot of people were affected by the footage. (Pam's acceptance speech for her Dundie) Pam: Finally I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie, and I feel God in this Chili's tonight. Jim: What a great year for the Dundies: we got to see Ping, we learned Michael's true feelings for Ryan - which was touching - and we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs which, for me, has ruined them for life. Pam: You know what they say about a car wreck where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you wanna look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you. Michael: The Dundie award for 'Longest Engagement' goes to Pam Beesley. Pam, everybody! Whoo! When is that girl gonna get married? That's what I have to say. (Roy gets up to accept) Ah, Roy's accepting. Roy: Yes. Michael: Thank you Roy. Are there any words you'd like to say, on Pam's behalf? Roy: Ah, we'll see you next year. Michael: Yeah, oh, hope not! Hope not... Jim: I think those might be empty. Pam: (tipsy) No, no. Then the ice melts, and it's, like, "second drink!" Michael: This last Dundie is for Kevin. This is the "Don't Go In There After Me" award. It's for the time that I went into the bathroom after him and it was really, really smelly. Michael: Please do not drink and drive, because you might hit a bump and spill your drink. Michael: (at the Dundie awards) The "Busiest Beaver" award goes to Phyllis Lapin! Yeah! Way to go Phyllis. Nice work, per usual. Phyllis: This says "Bushiest Beaver!" Michael: I told them Busiest... Idiots! Michael: A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts? Dwight: Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a ladies room for a reason. And if you cannot behave like ladies, well, then you are not going to have a bathroom. Pam: You're taking away our bathroom? Dwight: We are going to have two men's rooms. Oscar: The Dundies are kind of like a kid's birthday party. And you go. And there's really nothing for you to do there. But the kid's having a really good time, so you're kind of there. That's kind of like what it's like. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction |
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